Homelessness

The quality of life for people who experience homelessness really depends on so many factors. Age, school/dropping out, social circle and the level of exposure you have had to street drugs all impact one’s experiences with homelessness. Personally I liked school, mainly because of my friends and nice teachers. Street drugs never allured me, besides marijuana. There were many anti-drug showcases in all the different elementary schools I attended because they used scare tactics and I was already very anti-cigarettes. Most of the folks who began doing harder drugs already smoked. So it was easy for me to avoid the “rougher crowd”. I am also very thankful to be in the last class before the vaping trends start skyrocketing. It would have been much easier for me to ease my mind on drugs if I saw that nicotine could be consumed and not stink like cigarettes. Lastly on the topic of drugs, if I would have smoked weed a lot in grade 10 or early grade 11, I think it would have dramatically lowered my chances of graduating. My journey through homelessness had many ups and downs and was sporadic. I believe it was partway through grade 11 when my dad kicked me out. I was able to stay at a close friend's house. I’ll call him “B”. They were very low income, with many mouths to feed so I wasn’t able to stay long. At school I kept my living situation very personal. But my friend's mom was very transparent and compassionate. She told me I could only stay for a few more days because me staying there was complicating their life. So another friend connected me to someone I will call B for privacy/clarity sake. B came to me very strongly with lots of love. He assured me it would be okay to stay with his family. To this day he is one of the kindest, most genuine guys I have ever met. Unfortunately he didn’t ask his mom if I could stay there so it was a shock for her. Truthfully I had no plan. Especially at the age of 15 (approximately), I had poor forward-thinking skills. Part of my coping mechanism was not to think about how bad my situation was. Thankfully everything worked out and I was allowed to stay as long as I needed. B’s mom also went above and beyond to make calls for me to get my essentials taken care of. She got me some temporary government funding. I believe the school counsellor and B’s mom were the reason I got a file open with CFS for that funding. This was huge for me because I was able to get my teeth cleaned, glasses, and some spending money. Sadly, things turned bad very quickly.

B’s family was going through a divorce. I was loyal to my friend, but also gave the benefit of the doubt to his mom because of how helpful she has been to me. B’s dad was sick with cancer, and so my friend couldn’t go to his mom and gather his dad’s personal belongings. One day his older sibling was driving me to a friend. She told me they’re planning when B’s mom is out to get B’s dad’s stuff. I agreed that I would just deny that I knew anything about it because I gained so much respect for B’s dad and sister for being transparent with me. The goal was to just get B’s dad’s stuff and that’s what they did. I became the target to blame for B’s mom. Suddenly her view on me shifts from being a nice kid to a master manipulator. She took out all her anger on me, screaming at me. From name-calling (master manipulator, liar, general put-downs), to blaming me solely for her divorce. Then she gave me an ultimatum, I had to leave that day or she would call the police. This was one of my first most hopeless moments. My social circle was much smaller, and my friends weren’t responding since it was a Friday. I think I found a friend last minute but my memory is spotty here. But I was okay from that abusive situation and was never physically harmed. At the time I was on dating apps and connected with a girl. She went to my school and we both were infatuated (at the time we thought we were in love, haha). I had income through my social worker so I had more tools to help recover, but I didn’t have a place to stay.

The girl's mom was a pretty stereotypical “I’m not like other moms, I’m a cool mom”. It was easy to convince her because of my demeanour and I would pay her rent. Our living arrangement worked really well for a few months. I was also able to have my social worker look into other housing options as a backup. Timing was key here because our relationship ended. We started realizing how different we were and arguments became regular. She didn’t want to go to school and her relationship with her mom was poor. Her mom put pressure on me to make sure she went to school, partly because I would have a higher chance of convincing her. Eventually we agreed neither of us were happy in the relationship, so I moved into a different room of the house. I really didn’t want to keep renting there. This was such an emotional rollercoaster for me. My worker came to the rescue with a really great group home, so I got out of there as soon as I could. I have many mixed feelings about this group home. Group home life is very different from what I thought. The house was REALLY nice and very quiet most of the time. Many youth lived there, I believe 11 total rooms, one staff room. I didn’t know what to expect but I figured it would be best not to befriend anyone. That mentality changed almost instantly once some key youth joined. Eventually another gamer joined, I had access to the staff wifi (so my wifi didn’t cut out at 11pm). My guess is one night he heard me playing and demanded the password. Over time this friendship grew to 4, even 5 members of a close friendship. We were so close that staff across the agency knew about our friend group. I have some of my best memories in the city at that group home. Crazy times, but they weren’t perfect. It was very hard to actually have changes made. Especially for core essentials like the internet (for school, or applying for jobs), food, and at certain points bus fare. I am very lucky to have met some of the best staff there, and one of the best group homes in the city! When you’re homeless as a teenager people are generally much kinder to you. Based on my personal experiences with being homeless, I feel as though men/boys are generally seen as being naturally aggressive people, and that they generally have anger issues. They are viewed as defiant so that’s why they’re homeless. Please know that folks who are non-binary or identify as LGBTQ+ are by far the most vulnerable to bad situations from homelessness. The second most vulnerable are non-white folks. It would be silly of me to not acknowledge my skin colour made me more relatable, easier to connect with. I am very lucky to have a calmer temperament and an ambivert, so I could socialize when needed.